Go- No- or – No go!

Continuing the story of my journey…

Song of Virginity

james_dean.jpgLife in the fast lane… ehh…

My love life was pretty casual, but for the most part it never went beyond flirting. Honestly. It was the early 1990’s and I lived my life mainly during the weekends.
I loved the night life: Dancing and loud music, being out all night until 5 or 6 am, dancing on the loudspeakers, flirting my way around like a careless drifter… I never stopped and thought about what I was doing or the dangers involved. I truly lived in the “here and now – ala James Dean” moment. Looking back I seriously wonder how I managed to make it through the weeks in between!

The bar served My favorite drink coke & whisky! Deliciously sweet and sharp and definitely made me care a lot less about – well, just about anything.

passion_love_kiss_lips_8019_1920x1200.jpgOn a few occasions, I would take a flirtatious guy up on “his offer” and end up in a…

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Love of my Life – I am His Song – Guest post by Gail

Miss Gail from Gail loves God was kind – and courageous – enough to share a part of her story and it’s an honor for Song of Virginity to have her onboard. Read and marvel as Gail chose to trust the words of her Savior, rather than words of man… And when you’re done reading here, jump over to her blog and indulge in her poetry, singing from the depths of her heart to her Jesus.

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Song of Virginity… that sounds so beautiful… in its purest and godliest form. It easily makes me wish I had a song of virginity. A song that says I have always belonged to the Lord and the Lord only. That nothing has ever come between me and my Lord.
Unfortunately, I was without a song of virginity from the age of 3. I was 12 before I heard the word, and in my late teens before I understood what it meant, though I was already an unwed teen mom.
Gailbaby.jpgYears of molestation and promiscuity had taken my right to make a choice. Yet there is no guarantee that if my life had been different, I would have made the right choice. And THAT is what Christ taught me virginity really meant to Him.

In 1994, I was baptized for the 2nd time (the 1st being when I was 8) because I thought my sins had washed away His blood, love, and forgiveness.
God would begin to whisper that His Son’s blood was shed to wash away my sins… of the past, present, and future. Christ did not need to die again. In that cleansing, He had made me white as snow.
To Him I was as clean as a virgin.
I would doubt this because man told me there was no use trying to make a testimony for God, because I had already been intimate, and especially since I already had a child.

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God clearly asked me, “Do you want to believe in what man tells you, or in what I tell you? If I say that I love you, that I forgive you, and have made you white as snow, do you want to believe me or the world?

Do you want to see yourself through the eyes of the world… trashed and tossed aside… worthless and hopeless?
Or do you want to see yourself through my eyes as the beautiful virgin that I have restored you to be for me… pure and Holy… righteous and blameless?

 “For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chastevirgin to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 11:2 KJV
I chose to believe in Christ. I was even empowered by a song sung by Jonathan Pierce called I Believe in Christ, and it sang,
“I believe in Christ. No other before Him. And though I may fail, I’ll never leave Him.
For me, He laid down His life. Oh I believe in Christ.”

Gailcar.jpgI have raised my son to remember to “keep God first, above everyone and everything, including me, including you.”

I have been blessed with singleness for several years now. By His grace and His great love I have been set aside… whether it be for a future husband or for Him… I am His song.

“The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17 KJV 

In 2012, when my son was marrying his bride the Lord gave me this song to write.
Jesus, The Love of My Life written by Gail Brookshire

I love Him so cause He loves me. /Says He always has, and that we were meant to be.
I’m already a part of His family. /I love Him because He first loved me.

Chorus: Jesus, Jesus, the Love of my life /wants to save me from my daily strife.
He wants to give me His peace for all eternity. /The Love of my life loves me.

A wedding invitation was sent to our friends. /They’ll join us when the engagement ends.
They’ll witness the union of a groom and His bride,/ and faithfully He’ll stay by my side.

Chorus: Jesus, Jesus, the Love of my life /wants to save me from my daily strife.
He wants to give me His peace for all eternity. /The Love of my life loves me.

He’s so open hearted, He’s opened His home /and invited my friends to a room of their own.
They’re already a part of our family, /and we’re living ever happily.

Chorus: Jesus, Jesus, the Love of my life /wants to save me from my daily strife.
He wants to give me His peace for all eternity. /The Love of my life loves me.

Jesus, Jesus, the Love of YOUR life /wants to save YOU from YOUR daily strife. He wants to give YOU His peace for all eternity. /The Love of YOUR life loves YOU.

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Photos are private and posted with permission from Sue Thompson of Set Photography, Leslie Ludy and Gail herself. Do not copy without permission. 

At the heart of Youth

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him
– just to find her.”

– Max Lucado

I love this quote! Because nothing could be more true – and yet, not much is further from the truth when asking  the youth of today.

According to an article on Christianitytoday.com, the top ten fears of the youth today has the #10 fear as “I will never have a happy marriage”… ???…
That’s not the Lord speaking, but the devil speaking into the hearts of our youth today.

Girls & Boys: You are valuable! You deserve love! You are worth dying for!

You don’t believe me?
Then look at the compassion in God’s eyes:
He hung on the cross – so you wouldn’t have to.

imagesYou are infinitely loved by a God Who will never abandon His own!

With God nothing is impossible. Marriage? With Jesus in the center – you are in safe hands. It won’t always be easy, it won’t always be what you want; But it will be worth it!

The big question is – do you have the courage to believe Him and take Him at His Word? 

 

Finally Free, or..?

With a pair of parents who couldn’t understand why I discarded “a stable marriage with kids” for what they called “loneliness”, it was no easy task to lick my wounds. But now that I was out of my not-so-picture-perfect verbally abusive relationship, I chose my days carefully and opted not to visit my parents, if I could find a way not to. chained.jpg

One day at work, a sales-guy from London called, wanting to be put through to the big boss. That particular big boss refused to speak to salespeople and I was his bulldog. The guy was persistent but so was I and from that sprung a longer conversation… which continued into lunch break and private phone number exchange.

He called, I called… we talked for hours… and London-Copenhagen flights are 2 hours and cheap – well, ended up being cheaper than the phone bill! Before we knew it, he was flying in from London to meet me.

Good heavens, what was I doing…
I was having fun… that’s what!

couple-mountian-motorcycle-riders-for-love.jpgWe spent a nice weekend together and though I perhaps knew it wouldn’t last, I decided to breath in the moment. He rode a motorcycle and I have always had a hard time resisting that… Oh my!! Riding on that big thing, going fast through the english countryside – Now that was enthralling to me!

So for the sake of keeping up with my story-post-line, I’ll name him Mr. Bike! For a few months we flew back and forth every other weekend, but gradually the interest dropped…

After staying at his flat and seeing the bachelor side of him… ahem… I also learned that he wanted not just a wife, but a “mom” and when I realized his head was full of “how to become a millionaire in a heartbeat” ideas, I got very cold feet – in a sense.
One of those ideas included moving to Copenhagen, live with me and do online commodity trade… I immediately had flashbacks and pulled out… He did the exact same thing as Mr. Pride – came up with barrels of good points as to why it was a good idea. I disagreed!
Our final weekend together was rather awkward and it all came to an end in the tube of London. As the train rolled out towards Heathrow airport I breathed a sigh of relief.

It’s perhaps a nice story in a sense, but it could have been a horrible nightmare. Back then not many people thought of human trafficking, sex trade or the likes, but it existed! Between the photo he had sent me and the day we met, a couple of kilos measured in 10’s had grown on him. He was nice looking though, but let’s just say I anticipated something different. I’m not hung up on looks, but my point is: 7-Dangers-of-the-Internet-for-Kids.jpg

Meeting perfect strangers is to meet a perfect stranger! Even after hours on a phone or email, words can deceive and pictures can lie – it all boils down to: Humans can lie! 
In today’s world, doing what I did back then – could be incredibly dangerous. I had no lifelines: people who knew where I was, expecting a check up call from me and knew who I was with.

How did I become so reckless?
A huge gaping hole in my heart and a bleeding wound from an ex-boyfriend and unsupportive parents. That’s how.
Was it their fault?
No. I own my own mistakes.

Looking back on this short, rather intense affair of the heart, I realize that it served but one purpose:
So I could lick my wounds and recover after Mr. Pride.
But I didn’t recover. Not really.
I was simply trying to fill a wound with what looked soft and romantic but underneath was not much more than another sharp knife.

If only I had looked to the real place of love.
Where love is unconditional and freely flowing.
Where love never runs out and where a wound can truly be healed and filled up.

With Jesus there is healing of wounds. blogger-image--298974431.jpg

 

Internet safety is vital. This is a link to Dangers of internet for kids if you are interested in reading more.

Harmless fun? – Guest post by Daniel

It’s a privilege to introduce to you Song of Virginity’s next guest blogger, Daniel. Throughout the process of this guest post I have come to know Daniel a bit and his open and honest attempt to share his own shortcomings as well as his desire to protect the innocent, quite frankly overwhelms me. Daniel struggles with sexual sin and this is his urge to parents and young girls out there, to be careful when using the internet. You can support Daniel by prayers and encouragement on his blog Minus the Cynic.

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When I was a young kid my parents freaked out when they saw I was looking at pictures of scantily clad supermodels on the internet.
They installed technology to only show sites with certain content, but got rid of it when I was unable to access an innocent site, because of the software’s programmed response to block sites based on key words.
giphy.gifYou would have thought my parents shock, horror and disappointment would have prevented me from finding my way back to those supermodels, or the thought of grieving my God – But it wasn’t
When I was 12 the doctor noticed my penis was red and sore and asked if I had been involved in any sexual activity. I loudly and vehemently said no!
That was before I knew that masturbation qualifies as sexual activity…
I can’t explain what caused me to gravitate towards that kind of filth in the first place.
It used to be more of an effort to sin on the internet because I had to sneak downstairs to do it. Today, it’s easy. Too easy.
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A daily view on the streets of Tokyo

At first I was apalled and disgusted by infantilization.

Having a fully grown woman appear to be a little girl in the way she dressed, never appealed to me. But, seeing those images was an influence… I sunk low enough to see a little girl as a source of sexual excitement.
My downfall was gradual.
It happened over several re-negotiations inside my mind… What was I prepared to accept in my behavior?
It took a concerned mother threatening me with personal harm and police intervention to cause me to wake up to myself and see how I need Jesus in every moment! 
I praise the Lord for that mom!
Obviously it’s dangerous for little girls to give their numbers and addresses to anyone online, but what many do not seem to know or acknowledge is how showing a video of yourself swimming or in the bathtub might cause a guy to commit a sin against God and the law of his land. 
Before a parent allows their child to use the internet without their supervision, I would suggest they familiarize themselves with blocking technology, in order to avoid (prolonged) exposure to unwanted advances from an unsuitable contact for their age group.
I think the responsibility falls on parents to make sure their child is visiting age appropriate sites, especially as they run the risk of not only exposing themselves to danger but also their entire family and circle of friends.
Some parents falsely assume their children will only add people they know as friends in their social network and not perfect strangers.7b45eadd6516efc2671eef6ac3212764.jpg.gif
This is the key to avoid causing harm to yourself. 
If you are friends with someone outside the internet, generally you know you can trust them. But when you are not looking at the face of the person you are communicating with and you may not know them personally, it prevents you from doing that usual “double take” in your spirit and it stops your conscience from kicking in immediately, as the virtual nature of your interaction makes it appear to be one step removed from reality, as you use the same screen for playing games as you do for displaying your physical attributes.
Perhaps it is advisable for girls under eighteen to concentrate on posting pictures of anything other than themselves – as there are guys who go specifically looking for young girls in this age group to satisfy their perpetually unfulfilled sexual desires.
Even if a young girl feels flattered by the attention given to her, she may be unwittingly exposing herself to physical harm. Even the most well intentioned gentleman may still have friends and somehow be connected to those in low places.
Please watch out!  hqdefault.jpg