Guest post – Beauty and the Actual Beast

A big thank you to Brandon, from the blog Brandon J Adams – For millennials seeking the abundant life of Jesus graciously wrote a post for Song of Virginity – and without further ado:

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Tale as old as time1105256_1345576304932_full
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast

There’s a tale old as time, all right, but not the Disney version. It’s a heartwrenching remake.

I’m watching it, again, at my workplace right now.

Guy and Girl get together. Girl becomes Mother Girl. Guy tries to stick around at first. Guy finds himself overwhelmed by Mother Girl’s and Baby’s needs. Guy gets noticed by Other Girl. Other Girl sidles up to Guy with sweet words that Mother Girl hasn’t had the energy to muster up for a while. Guy lets Other Girl linger just a bit. Mother Girl gets upset. Guy grins hunky grin, thinks Mother Girl is overreacting. Other Girl brazenly presses. Backtrack four sentences and repeat until Guy decides Mother Girl is “crazy” and leaves.

Baby grows up to be Guy, Mother Girl, or Other Girl.

9b9b32271bbad627d3ac8dd610ed06f4.jpgI watched this film as a teacher, playing in hallways: I had a baby crawling along the floor of my rural classroom, shredding his mother’s algebra homework with an evil grin. His father walked out that spring.

You’re assuming that Guy is the beast.

But both Guy and Girl were meant for beauty in their own ways, created in God’s image. So was their union – “the way of a man with a maiden” (Proverbs 30:19) – protection by a jewel case called marriage. Yet they are marred, grounded, twisted like veal by something in their nature.Seven-Deadly-Sins-620x320.jpg

The beast is sin.

I know guys. We have puppet strings labeled “affirmation” tied to our hearts. When Other Girl so expertly pulls the strings, guys want to dance. That’s no condescending judgment; even twenty-somethings have little sense of what’s driving them. Rare indeed is the person of any age with the honesty and self-awareness to question their own inner workings. Few of us even think of asking.

That is the risk a woman takes by giving herself to a man who isn’t committed. It’s like taking a hot air balloon ride during a tornado warning.

This isn’t to portray men as victims or shame Mother Girl for not offering enough. It’s not her fault. Guy has been given a Bible to show him right action and a will to help him defy his feelings. He’s responsible.

But a girl can do this: find a man who will stack the deck against himself…by marrying her.

God stacked the deck against himself by having Elijah drench the altar with water, so that only fire from heaven could incinerate it. He stacked the deck by having Gideon decommission all but 300 troops, so Midian would know Who really beat them. He stacked the deck by publicly crucifying Jesus, rolling a massive stone across his sealed and guarded tomb, so that only a risen deity could emerge. In each case, the men obeyed, placing themselves in a position where only God could come through for them.

In the same way, a man of God will seal himself into a covenant, renounce all others, commit before a cloud of witnesses to honor your heart before he ever asks for your body. Marriage requires a man to play the man, cuts off escape routes, makes leaving far more costly.

God’s man will come through, for he is of God and has his strength.

The best bet in an imperfect world, ladies, is to obey. There, you’ll receive the fullest benefit of God’s power.

Young men – you can be heroes.

The Beast in the movie sacrificed himself for his Belle; he lost his life protecting her.

That is the Gospel.

I doubt the creators of the movie had the Cross in mind, but even if by accident, the parallels to the Gospel are astonishing. The beast didn’t expect to survive, nor did he care. That is your path. That is the discipline that defines the warrior. When you offer and offer and it seems pointless and thankless and ominously endless, but it’s bringing her life, you’ve learned to love. You’ve become like Christ.

We’re getting nowhere with the alternative. Ravi Zacharias once heard from the president of Albania:

“We are the most atheistic country in the world, and we have made one mess of this country. Maybe it’s time for us to stop doing it our way and start thinking of doing it God’s way.”

And what happened to the Beast after his sacrifice?

Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.” (Luke 17:33)

transformation-beauty-and-the-beast-27580601-491-241.gifOur generation is scared and contemptuous of marriage. Walk straight into that fear, men! Put a ring on it. Keep your fingers off her until then.

It’s sacrifice, and sacrifice brings life, just as Christ’s did.

“The difference between false and true pleasure is this: for true pleasure, the price is paid before you enjoy it. For false pleasure, the price is paid after you enjoy it. … You walk into the path of an illicit relationship, it may be easy to do, but the price you will pay is after that. If you say no from the beginning, it’s painful, but you enjoy the legitimate pleasures of what God gives to you.” – Ravi Zacharias

No more Guy, Mother Girl, and Other Girl.

Our world needs Husbands and Wives.

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Eternal love – guest post by Vince

Vince from You, me and this world stopped by Song of Virginity to jot down a few words about a love given and received.

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Life without love is really unbearable. I have been blessed to travel on every continent and to many countries, and one thing I’ve seen no matter what language, color or creed, everyone or at least almost everyone, wants to love and be loved.
Therefore this is God.
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While living as a single in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, I met Suva.

She was a wonderful young woman that I fell totally in love with. We spent most of our days glowing in the gift of love we found in each other and in God, and we found that this love was so bright that others saw it too. We were together for 8 months. anima001.jpgWhen we went to file for a marriage license, I was asked to show my immigration papers and for a financial status. Since I was a missionary my papers were in order but I had very little money. I was given three days to leave the country.

My heart was breaking, Suva tried to get a visa and she too didn’t have enough money to get the papers she needed. I went to Bolivia and we wrote for five months. We never got back together. I thought that I would die.

Now many many years later I have a wonderful wife and wonderful life.ab6f90e664b94c80c68761e9ee8e9fe2.jpg


The love for Suva will always be in my heart as love never fails or leaves us. It’s eternal.

 

Teacher love – guest post by anonymous

He touched her chin and lifted it towards his face while he gently leaned over and kissed her… And then she woke up from her daydream and realized that she was staring stupidly into the whiteboard during class,with romantic dreamy eyes. She looked rather franticly around her classmates, hoping nobody had seen her daydream.It would seem they hadn’t. Phew!

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She was taking a supporting class to complete her degree.
The class was taught by the handsome, well spoken, nicely dressed, cool but kind and tempting beyond her loudest sigh, teacher!
A month or two of dreaming about him led to her asking questions about the material. Questions she possibly didn’t need to ask.
She tried to get closer and he didn’t exactly shut her out. He didn’t invite her in either.It was beginning to feel like she had befriended him and yet he kept her at a distance.

She obviously had a gigantic crush… on her teacher! He was so irresistible. She was panting for the “one and only” she watched in the movies, tv and even read about in romantic novels. But all her past boyfriends had miserably failed.
Her longing was strong and as she watched her teacher, being of the same age as her, she imagined his character in a home, his gentleness with kids, his pride in her as his girlfriend. Oh, to be loved by him! 5362819996e3337e10c0d1f0cef82786.jpg

Yet, she sorely wished she didn’t have the crush! Because he clearly wasn’t interested. Either because he wasn’t interested in her or because she was his student.

One evening after a rather uncomfortable bump-in with an ex-boyfriend, she took a walk to clear her head. It was winter, cold and dark. She saw her warm breath every time she exhaled. She found herself outside his home. Despite just wandering around she knew exactly where he lived and most likely it wasn’t a coincidence she was there. She could see light in his windows. She just stood still staring at his window, hoping she would catch a glimpse of him… hoping he would see her – see her pain – see her love and rush out to take her in and into his arms
But unlike her fantasy, that didn’t happen.
He saw her staring and though she didn’t know if he knew it was her or not, he closed the curtain and shut her out.
woman-love-sick-vert_vg5jlz.jpgShe walked home hearing only the lingering voice in her head “now you’ve done it! Now you’re a stalker!”. She was ashamed, but not enough. She began to take up evening walks as a hobby and ever so coincidentally walk past his home.

The academic year came to an end and unfortunately she ended up failing the class. Not because she didn’t know the stuff, but because she felt so ashamed to have been a stalker of her teacher. During the final test she simply couldn’t concentrate. Afterwards, she was so ashamed of her actions that she decided to avoid any contact with the teacher, no more evening walks past his home and she chose a different school and supporting class and a year later completed her degree.

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The above is a true story, written by someone who wish to remain anonymous. Here on Song of Virginity, that is okay too. 

We often apply characteristics of “perfection” to those we fall in love with as we try to fill the void in our hearts with someone who can never fully fill it or in this story, fill it with emptiness: To love but not be loved again.

12825999_257258291272474_986563694_nWhen we choose to love Jesus something happens in our hearts.

We can ask Him anything! He can fill the void with love and in trust He will guide us to the one who is right for us.

And… He loves it when you stalk Him!

 

Harmless fun? – Guest post by Daniel

It’s a privilege to introduce to you Song of Virginity’s next guest blogger, Daniel. Throughout the process of this guest post I have come to know Daniel a bit and his open and honest attempt to share his own shortcomings as well as his desire to protect the innocent, quite frankly overwhelms me. Daniel struggles with sexual sin and this is his urge to parents and young girls out there, to be careful when using the internet. You can support Daniel by prayers and encouragement on his blog Minus the Cynic.

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When I was a young kid my parents freaked out when they saw I was looking at pictures of scantily clad supermodels on the internet.
They installed technology to only show sites with certain content, but got rid of it when I was unable to access an innocent site, because of the software’s programmed response to block sites based on key words.
giphy.gifYou would have thought my parents shock, horror and disappointment would have prevented me from finding my way back to those supermodels, or the thought of grieving my God – But it wasn’t
When I was 12 the doctor noticed my penis was red and sore and asked if I had been involved in any sexual activity. I loudly and vehemently said no!
That was before I knew that masturbation qualifies as sexual activity…
I can’t explain what caused me to gravitate towards that kind of filth in the first place.
It used to be more of an effort to sin on the internet because I had to sneak downstairs to do it. Today, it’s easy. Too easy.
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A daily view on the streets of Tokyo

At first I was apalled and disgusted by infantilization.

Having a fully grown woman appear to be a little girl in the way she dressed, never appealed to me. But, seeing those images was an influence… I sunk low enough to see a little girl as a source of sexual excitement.
My downfall was gradual.
It happened over several re-negotiations inside my mind… What was I prepared to accept in my behavior?
It took a concerned mother threatening me with personal harm and police intervention to cause me to wake up to myself and see how I need Jesus in every moment! 
I praise the Lord for that mom!
Obviously it’s dangerous for little girls to give their numbers and addresses to anyone online, but what many do not seem to know or acknowledge is how showing a video of yourself swimming or in the bathtub might cause a guy to commit a sin against God and the law of his land. 
Before a parent allows their child to use the internet without their supervision, I would suggest they familiarize themselves with blocking technology, in order to avoid (prolonged) exposure to unwanted advances from an unsuitable contact for their age group.
I think the responsibility falls on parents to make sure their child is visiting age appropriate sites, especially as they run the risk of not only exposing themselves to danger but also their entire family and circle of friends.
Some parents falsely assume their children will only add people they know as friends in their social network and not perfect strangers.7b45eadd6516efc2671eef6ac3212764.jpg.gif
This is the key to avoid causing harm to yourself. 
If you are friends with someone outside the internet, generally you know you can trust them. But when you are not looking at the face of the person you are communicating with and you may not know them personally, it prevents you from doing that usual “double take” in your spirit and it stops your conscience from kicking in immediately, as the virtual nature of your interaction makes it appear to be one step removed from reality, as you use the same screen for playing games as you do for displaying your physical attributes.
Perhaps it is advisable for girls under eighteen to concentrate on posting pictures of anything other than themselves – as there are guys who go specifically looking for young girls in this age group to satisfy their perpetually unfulfilled sexual desires.
Even if a young girl feels flattered by the attention given to her, she may be unwittingly exposing herself to physical harm. Even the most well intentioned gentleman may still have friends and somehow be connected to those in low places.
Please watch out!  hqdefault.jpg

Something to think about – guest post by Heather Davis

I’m so very proud and happy to welcome to the Song of Virginity blog the first female guest blogger; Heather Davis from Running the race. Personally I couldn’t resist her “about” words, so I’ll let those speak for themselves:

Disciple of Christ, adorer of God, often wayward or distracted student of the Holy Spirit, dedicated wife, homeschool mom of three, and sometime freelance writer and photographer, inquisitive nature lover, hiker, dog owner, and word nerd all bundled into about 5″1′ of physical space

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dc-Cover-m14v01gc2qsoajolanbjej8ol4-20160211155224.Medi.jpegMy wedding was one of the most thrilling days of my life, but it was nothing compared to the wedding night. All through the ceremony, my new husband and I had eyes only for each other as we looked forward to the night ahead. Both of us were intoxicated with the anticipation of coming together as man and wife and exploring the as-yet unknown territory of physical love. That night, we would consummate our commitment to one another, and for the rest of our lives we would have one another’s bodies to explore and enjoy without shame or fear of disease. Cuba Photos 008.jpg
On our wedding night, I gave my husband a gift that was precious and priceless because it could be only given once; I gave him my virginity. All the months of self-control, of delayed gratification and increasing sexual attraction were finally unleashed in a physical expression of our love. We were now united in a concrete way, giving us a beautiful glimpse of what God meant when He said a man and his wife shall become one flesh.

At least, that’s how I wish my story went.

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Instead, I did not treasure virginity as a young woman, and so at the age of 19 I gave it away for a poorly sung song. Pathetically, that ‘song’ was nothing more thrilling than insincere flattery from an older, somewhat disturbed man – and not even a particularly attractive one.

I wish I could say I gave it up for love.
I even wish I could say it was for lust, but the truth is nothing so noble as either of these. I discarded my virginity away out of shame.

In my teens, I struggled with body image issues. Despite a 24-inch waistline and other evidence to the contrary, I was convinced that I was fat, unattractive, and entirely undesirable. Somehow, in some twisted way, I thought having sex would bolster my confidence, perhaps make me feel more sophisticated or some such thing.
However, because I naively believed the hook-up culture lie that sex was an act as casual and easily forgotten as a handshake, I was wholly unprepared for the emotional onslaught that followed.
And you could say that emotional onslaughts were not exactly my forte at the time. 21647039.jpg

Worst of all, once the deed was done, instead of feeling the security of being wanted and loved that I craved, I only felt more shame. This cycle continued for years: shame fueling poor choices which increased my shame… and so on, and so on. Sometimes there were brief interludes of fun, but mostly it was horrid. The aftermath was always horrid.

Fortunately for me, there is a God who saw me, who saw past my terrible choices to my broken heart. He knew the reason for my recklessness, knew the poor self-image I carried and the weight of guilt that dragged me further into the muck with each step.

In His compassion, He allowed me to reap the consequences of my careless sexual behavior – consequences that culminated in pregnancy. That got my attention.
Now that I was finally listening, He revealed the Savior who carried my shame to the cross and there paid the price of my sin with His own life, lending me His garment of righteousness to cover my shame.
gods-hands.jpgBlessed be His name, He forgave me and set me free from the destructive cycle of guilt. And what’s more, by His grace, the father of the child did not flee (as so many do) but became my husband and has loved and supported our family ever since.

However, although now forgiven and free, I still have deep regret that I was unable to come to my marriage bed in purity. For my husband and me, our wedding night was just a night like so many others; there was nothing sacred or special or even particularly noteworthy about it. Something that could have been beautiful and memorable was merely commonplace.

Wishing it were not so changes nothing, but perhaps telling you my story will.de699bb7c71821400dad451ca49ad012.jpg

Perhaps this tale will give you something to think about, particularly in those moments where temptation or even shame erode your resolve. Hang in there!
And if you have already caved in and hanging in there is not an option, there’s still hope in Christ. He makes all things new, even our soiled and broken hearts.

 

 

The Ghost Pepper effect – guest post by Dan

I’m honored to have Dan writing a guest post here on Song of Virginity. Dan is a pastor, author and a speaker. An easy going guy which you can tell if you go visit his blog Learning to be Full of Grace and Truth – He is also a dad and a husband!

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bowl_of_ice_cream-2232.jpgMy oldest daughter Maggie likes this YouTube show called Good Mythical Morning. The show stars two friends, Rhett and Link, who does crazy fun things. One of the stunts they pulled was taking what is called “the ghost pepper challenge.” The video showed both of them eating and swallowing a ghost pepper, and then seeing who could go the longest before reaching for some milk or ice cream for relief.

unnamed.pngThis bit of bravery buried itself like an evil seed in Maggie’s psyche, and grew into a desire to do her own YouTube video of a ghost pepper challenge. She talked her youngest sister Rachel and her friend Liam into doing it with her. So great was her desire to go through with this, that she spent her own money on 3 ghost peppers, 3 half gallons of milk, and a gallon of ice cream and some sherbet. Perhaps the best thing was her desire to try and stand out by wearing a blue full-body suit while she did it. She made me film the event:

Maggie’s ghost pepper challenge

To Maggie’s credit, she was the only one of the three who actually ate and swallowed the pepper. And she kept it down!

But it was not long before Maggie realized that what looked so fun and entertaining on TV was much more difficult in real life. It was about thirty minutes of burping, burning, crying, jumping, sweating, and exclamations of “fire!” amidst eating frantic handfuls of ice cream. When it was all over, she had a new respect for Rhett and Link, and vowed never to do it again.

What does this have to do with sex and virginity? Nothing really.kg-black-white-Love-sexy-couples-1.jpg But it makes the great point;

What we see on TV and in the movies is not the whole story.
Hollywood makes casual sex look enticing, desirable, and (most importantly) doable without any real unforeseen consequences or relational fallout.
4-6942.jpgBut, just as Maggie found out that actually taking the ghost pepper challenge cost her a lot more pain than she had expected, casual sex outside of marriage brings its own brand of “ghost pepper effects” that are left out of the theatrical presentations of it.
And just as Maggie was still feeling it this morning, the effect of sleeping with someone don’t just fade away — it lingers.
In fact, it can haunt you like a ghost; even if it is with the person you end up marrying. I know, I am speaking from my own experience.

The “ghost pepper effects” of extramarital sex are not because sex is bad, but because God designed it to take place in the marriage relationship.

If there is anything I have been learning about sex, it is that sex is not a good thing; It is a great thing!
After all, it was God’s idea, and He doesn’t do lame ideas! I can tell you from experience (and I have 25 years of experience with my wife) that it is freakishly awesome!

… If you are tasting those hot “ghost pepper effects” and feeling guilt or shame from going there, all that heat can be wiped out by God’s grace.
jesus-and-sinner.jpgThere is no mistake, sin, or choice that can stand up to the omnipotent force of Jesus’ grace. If you are a Christian, confess your sin to Jesus, He forgave you long ago for it. Let that grace wash into your heart and cool and soothe your soul.
If you are not a Christian, go to Jesus and ask for His help. You will find that He is ready and willing to do so. He will always answer “Yes” to that prayer.

Real Men – Guest post by Julian

Julian is a one-of-a-kind man and I’m so pleased to have him guest blog here on Song of Virginity. His blog Julian for Jesus is a genuine, passionate and loving blog – I bet you would want to go check it out, once you’ve read his post here:

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Before I say anything I would like to make it very clear that sex in and of itself is not a sin, it is a creation of God used to join two individuals together, express love and affection and to reproduce. Sex becomes a sin if it is before marriage, and/or with people other than your spouse and/or with someone of the same gender.

MY STORY

Growing up my generation viewed virginity as a weight that needed to be lifted off of our shoulders. Personally I hated this perspective, not because I was a goodie two shoes or had a righteous view on sex at the time, but because I was absolutely TERRIFIED of being intimate with someone. So much so that when I had the opportunity to lose my proverbial V card at 13 I prayed that it wouldn’t work out.man-praying

Lord I pray that somehow you can get me out of having sex today! Thank you! Amen!

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Thankfully God answered that prayer!!! 

 

But of course this wouldn’t be the only pressuring situation that I would find myself in. My family was quite fond of the idea of a male losing his virginity early. It was a common view that the longer you went without losing your “innocence” the more of a “loser” you were. When some family members of mine got wind of the fact that “IT” didn’t go down when it was supposed to, I was given an ultimatum; either lose my virginity by 16 or they would bring me to a brothel and pay for me to have my first sexual experience.

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Me: are you serious?

The pressure as a young teen to lose your virginity was so heavy that in order to relieve himself of the “shame”, a friend of mine with great lament gave his virginity to a girl in our neighborhood that was known to sleep around with several different men.
To my surprise he wasn’t scrutinized a bit for it, in fact it seemed as though people deemed it to be better to lose your virginity to someone who “got around” than to still be a virgin. The tables were actually turned on me and I was asked why I still haven’t done it yet. We were about sixteen at the time so to me this was befuddling.

QUESTION

Why encourage someone so young to have sex and before they are ready? Why do high schools, middle schools and even a couple of elementary schools hand out condoms to their students? Why is a sex symbol like Kim Kardashian making appearances at the kids choice awards?

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Satan tries his best to attack you in your adolescence so when you become an adult he doesn’t have to work as hard to get you to stumble or fall. He sets you up with preconceived notions about love, sex, marriage and God so that when you grow up and read about the right way of doing things, you find that it is contrary to what society approves of and you become indifferent and are less inclined to abide by the laws that God established. Essentially when we become adults and study our bibles we have to reprogram the mind that Satan molded throughout our childhood.

QUESTION

Why is premarital sex glorified in the media today? Why are men praised for having sexual relations with multiple partners and why are women looking for moral equality in this category?

CONCLUSION

489_make-her-want-it-more-1037692-TwoByOne.jpgAfter convincing the world that sex is permissible outside the confines of marriage, Satan decided to make it a matter of equal moral rights. Women would like to be praised or at least not ridiculed for having many partners. This just creates a demand for equal dispense of pleasantries in regards to sinning. Two wrongs don’t make a right but it all starts with our behavior as males. We have to stop praising one another for wrongdoings and start encouraging each other to resist temptation.
Sexual tension is one of the hardest things to ignore.
When you feel yourself getting riled up with lust and you quiver beneath your loins, the only thing you seek is to relieve yourself of this sultry sensation that overwhelms your body. This is why it is such a pivotal weapon for Satan to use against us. It is way too difficult to ignore our flesh when it craves satisfaction.

As MEN OF GOD we have to practice self control Thessalonians 4:3-5 says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;”

999999.pngThe world glorifies debauchery but we as Christian men are called to be different because all of what we do represents God and Gods word says,
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Ephesians 5:3),
and “be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”(Romans 12:2).

 

Please understand that sexual immorality is not just a matter of “if I sin God will be upset with me.” Every time temptation knocks on your door a war breaks out in the spiritual realm and whenever you give in to a lust you are giving control to other worldly beings who are dedicated to bringing about your destruction.16c6d133dfa5e372c18352f3e54bb76b.jpg
Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

We are legitimate warriors for Christ and if we are with the world we stand against Jesus and will one day be judged by Him. So it is important that every day we suit up for the Lord and combat the world instead.
Dawn the full armor of God and silence your flesh!
Gain control and be a REAL MAN!!! 
Set an example that women and younger generations can look up to.

Waiting for marriage isn’t just saving yourself for the perfect woman. It is a beautiful example of obedience and reverence for God. It also is a showing of true strength and self control.
Don’t just be a man; Be an illustration of a Godly man.