What if…

Continuing my storyline of “The Journey of the Flesh”. This post was very hard to write but speaks volumes of reality. I hope you’ll read it through.
– Lene

Song of Virginity

What if Mr. Tough Guy and I had more between us than skin. Maybe if Jesus had been a part of our lives. What if…

This post addresses the most intense love affair of my life. This part is very difficult for me to share and maybe I’ll even take a shot of whisky & cola!
Because somewhere in my heart, I still love him. 

37667cb6b315bab9b446074a85d7c9a2.jpgHe was 38. I was 20. I know – “ew – old man, young girl”… The only evidence of his age though was probably his grey hair, but…

He was simply oh! so! s-e-x-y!!

I’m not kidding. His biceps were – ahem – big. He was a paver by profession, lifting heavy stones and paving the most beautiful patterns pavements can have – especially in “royal countries” if that might spark your imagination…  His hands were rough and skin was suntanned, the tattoos were intriguing and his look was…

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Troubles are not permanent – Scars are

Continuing the story of my journey…

Song of Virginity

Trouble was looming!

silly-face.pngMr. Temper arrived on the scene. Oh my oh my… I was 10 kinds of blind, stupid and deaf. People warned me against him… told me he was living with another woman.
I actually found that out pretty quick, but the sad part was that I seriously couldn’t care less. I had it so bad for this guy that it gives me chills to think about now! I was head over heels in love!

We met when he could – e.g. when he could get away from home, okay “her”… He couldn’t choose between us, so he kept us both. For a time. Eventually, she left him and he came crying to me…
The 10 kinds of stupid I mentioned before – This was one of them: He cried to ME about her leaving him. Whaaat? Seriously disturbed.
We ended up living together and I can’t…

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Go- No- or – No go!

Continuing the story of my journey…

Song of Virginity

james_dean.jpgLife in the fast lane… ehh…

My love life was pretty casual, but for the most part it never went beyond flirting. Honestly. It was the early 1990’s and I lived my life mainly during the weekends.
I loved the night life: Dancing and loud music, being out all night until 5 or 6 am, dancing on the loudspeakers, flirting my way around like a careless drifter… I never stopped and thought about what I was doing or the dangers involved. I truly lived in the “here and now – ala James Dean” moment. Looking back I seriously wonder how I managed to make it through the weeks in between!

The bar served My favorite drink coke & whisky! Deliciously sweet and sharp and definitely made me care a lot less about – well, just about anything.

passion_love_kiss_lips_8019_1920x1200.jpgOn a few occasions, I would take a flirtatious guy up on “his offer” and end up in a…

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Respect has no grey zones

Continuing my story with this next blog post about date-rape.
As I share my “journey of the flesh”, I’m hoping that all the beautiful youngsters out there will think twice before… Before it might be too late.

Song of Virginity

greys1.jpg50 shades of grey? No’b – strike that!…

After my crucial “first yes” to loosing my virginity – and “yes” to have the knowledge of my own body’s reaction to intimacy – and the loss of innocence, it took some time before I entered “round 2”.

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This time I wanted a relationship and that happened in a really weird way;

I went on a school bus trip to the city of Prague. It was an all night drive to get there, but a week of studying the history of Prague and in case you haven’t been: It’s a gorgeous city! But it was a bus full of teens and for us the real trip was to party in a country where, at that time, everything was incredibly cheap.o-PRAGUE-900.jpg

We had emptied the hotel bar one night (for alcohol, not people) and the morning after, my hotel roommate found a note…

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Somewhere around 16

In “Somewhere Around 16” I look back upon the loss of my virginity, the how and when – and why. It’s the first post in my storyline “Journey of the Flesh”. May it reach everyone the Lord intends it to.

Song of Virginity

As naive as I was at age 16, tumblr_ktfjxl20iW1qa3yd4o1_500.jpgI was fully aware of my own body and – guys? They were… well… interesting. At 16 I was a little “behind” my friends who had already gone straight for the prize of loosing their virginity. It was popular at the time to “know what you were doing” and yet Madonna was still singing “like a virgin” (despite at the time it being 5 years old). The mind of a teen girl is plenty messed up without adding boys and music into the mix, but that’s the reality of the world. It was 1989.

I honestly do not know what I expected when my virginity were at the brink of gone. Before, during nor after.

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But I can say for sure that “food-sex” never crossed my mind!
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I had been partying at the harbour festival and met this mr. nice guy. Yes…

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The Why

Once upon a year or 2 ago I began this blog “Song of Virginity”.
Since my own story of my journey with “guys, flesh and stuff” has come to an end, I decided to reblog the posts… There are still many young people out there whom my words can hopefully reach…

Song of Virginity

the-Lord-Jesus-brought.jpgMy Lord Jesus placed a project on my heart.
A project about innocence or more poetically put: Virginity.

I’m not entirely sure why He asked me to begin this journey, but He has His reasons (sorry, but I just love this particular image of Jesus from the movie “Son of God”…)

After doing some research on the subject, mainly to find out where the Lord was taking me with this, I sensed a nudge to begin a new blog and when I read a certain post written by “Beauty beyond bones”, who is a great blogger and one who’s posts I thoroughly enjoy reading, I knew for sure what I had to do.maxresdefault-1.jpg
The blog post she wrote is named V-card and describes the “trouble” of being a virgin today…

So I have branched out and began this blog – a side blog to my main one – Wrestling with faith…

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Tingle Single

I said goodbye to Mr. Bike in the tube of London (see earlier post “Finally Free or…”) and headed home. I remember feeling both relieved and sad. Mainly relieved though… Mainly sad because I so love London!

A short time later something strange happened.

Funny-Memes-About-Being-Single-26While on one hand I was perfectly happy being single. Yeah… really!
On the other hand, I couldn’t resist the temptation the up-and-coming social media presented; Online Dating services!

I decided I wasn’t looking for anything serious. In retrospect, I probably were.
Before long I had a profile and not long after that I had notifications. 2 or 3 of the guys who contacted me, moved from the dating site to my email account. I actually had a lot of fun with it and 2 of them I met up with.

1 was a really nice guy. A bit too sweet actually…
maxresdefaultThe other one was r-e-a-l nice looking!  Mr. Rebound was attractive not only in looks but also in speech and we had a good time together. But outside of bed we had different expectations to each other. It lasted a couple of months. Essentially I was his rebound after a longer relationship he had been in – hence the name!

Why was it strange?
Well… After all the relationships I had been in. After all the heartache and even date rape’s (though without the drug), I was still attracted to jumping head first into new relationships.
Why I chose not to wait… for “Mr. Right”… is what I’m only now beginning to understand.

1. I wanted desperately to feel loved.
2. My body had a desire I couldn’t control.
3. Emotionally I had learned the coping skill of “shutting down feelings” (perhaps that would make for another blog post one day).
4. I’m an adventurer by nature.

If I had known the Purest Love from the beginning, then I wouldn’t have known my own fleshly desires to such depth. I wouldn’t crave to feel loved and not know where to fill up my tank. And last; I could have looked for a man I could adventure with.

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My one regret in life is that I didn’t say YES to Jesus much earlier. But He is using it – using me and my experiences – to reach you and for that I’m grateful. I pray you hear me out there…

 

After Mr. Rebound though, I actually managed to stay single for a long long time… Perhaps not by choice, but more stubbornness. I was really tired of “guys” and it was a good thing. A healthy thing for me and I thank Jesus for giving me that time.