The Pursuit – Guest post by Joel

Joel, who is expecting his 3rd little baby any second now, jumped over to Song of Virginity from his own blog In the desert with Jesus to write this guest post.

With great thanks, this is his post, titled “The Pursuit”

Her mist comes through the blue air. The picture comes into focus. There’s a deep, unending ocean running out to the horizon. A sapphire blue sky with a piercing white sun illuminates this watery world. A gorgeous beach is off to the other horizon. The wind blows like whispers upon the skin, dappled with drops of water vapor from the sea. And there, standing in front of you, eyes gazing out into the deep, she stands. Her gorgeous hair tossed ever so slightly by the wind, her eyes gaze into yours and you know there is no doubt she is madly in love with you. There she is. Lips of red, skin darkened in the sun’s gaze. And then it fades out. You wake up. Your eyes opening to the ceiling of your bedroom at 3am. You just stepped out of Eden and back into this world.

Celebrity-Image-Grace-Kelly-227979.jpgMen; What is it about women that create such a cry in our hearts? I just made up the above story, but it’s a scene most of you men know from heart. You know what I mean…the tug of the heartstrings when you are jogging and she runs by, or maybe when you are waiting to order your coffee and she walks by and there’s that irresistible urge to do a quick double take… What is it? Why are we so, to use a strong word here, obsessed with her? Or better, why do we worship her?
Why is it too easy for men to turn her into an idol rather than a partner, a sister, and then sometimes a wife? Why do we pursue beauty so hard, inevitably mixing some of the worst sins in, with our desire to hold beauty? In the process invoking violence, emotional and/or physical abuse, lust, and adultery. What’s going on under the surface?

Genesis 1:27 says we are made in the image of God as male and female. Our masculinity is the way male human beings bear the image of the Living God. Let’s clear the air on a few things first. The innate strength, passion, desire you have within you is good and are ways you bear the image of God. The, at times, overwhelming desire to have and hold beauty is a good and holy desire. A desire given to you by God.
The choices we make with that desire can either be for good or for evil, but it’s each man’s own choice.

We pursue beauty because we really want to pursue God.
You were created for intimacy with God.lord-jesus.gif

Eve’s daughters are created in the image of God too. They image him in many ways, including their wild beauty, allure, tenderness and care. Mike Mason wrote once;

“My wife’s body is brighter and more fascinating than a flower, shier than any animal, and more breathtaking than a thousand sunsets. To me her body is the most awesome thing in creation…if even the image is this dazzling, what must the Original be like.”(The Mystery of Marriage)

The ultimate soul ache you are seeking satisfaction for in women, can’t be fulfilled, because only through pursuing God’s beauty, through Jesus, will you ever be filled. We cannot put the expectations upon any woman to fill this ache within us. It is an eternal ache and can only be filled by the Son. The Bible frequently uses imagery of lovers to describe our relationship with Jesus. Marriage, sex, a kiss, an embrace, these are all fleshly methods of intimacy that image spiritual intimacy with God. The ache of physical oneness with a woman can only truly be soothed in the spiritual oneness with God. This is why the end of mankind and the beginning of eternity starts off with the wedding of the Son and his people. It is the deepest kind of intimacy possible, that of a husband and wife.


The difficulty and reality of dealing with our male sexuality cannot be addressed in five easy steps. We must take our worshipful stance of women, of beauty, and pursue Jesus instead. We must then see women for what they are: equals. Sisters to be treated with respect. Friends, and no, not friends with benefits, but as coequals to walk the path of redemption along side us. And yes, for one lady whom God has set aside for one man, to call beloved. Not as a source to fill our every ache, but as a wife to walk alongside us in life, to love and cherish as Christ does for us, his bride.

The passionate affair with God should be the bedrock of our virginity. We were not created to adulterate ourselves by manipulating women into sex, or to lust in our eyes be it at the pool or on the internet. We were created to bask in God’s loveliness. And only in his goodness he gave us Eve. But our primary design is to pursue Jesus. I’m not asking anyone to give up ecstasy or pleasure, just illicit pleasure. The ecstasy and pleasure you can have in the arms of God, the Lover of you, is more than you could ever hope for with any woman, even with your own wife.
If you don’t believe me, try it…

The questions that we are asked as men are:
Who are we idolizing? Ourselves or Jesus?
Who is your heart dreaming about and worshiping in Eden? God or Eve?


18 thoughts on “The Pursuit – Guest post by Joel

      1. My sister and brother in Christ, thank you for your wonderful words! I’m glad we get to speak into each others lives, even if it’s just through blogging this side of heaven.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: The Pursuit | Jeffrey H. King's Blog

  2. I’m struggling with this post because though I agree that our relationship with Jesus is what motivates everything including desire to holiness, the underlying basis doesn’t seem to line up.

    The innate desire in us as set out for someone in a coffee shop or running or in a fantasy or dream is not good and not seeking the image of God or really even seeking beauty — it is just sinful fleshly lust often motivated by things unrelated to beauty or even the person being lusted after. Lack of confidence, desire to demean others, sheer seeking out of pleasure — there is often absolutely nothing good about mans interactions with women who are not our wives. Our innate desire on its own not in submission to Jesus is not in any way good according to the Bible and lusts as a result of fallen creation at work. This statement:

    Let’s clear the air on a few things first. The innate strength, passion, desire you have within you is good and are ways you bear the image of God. The, at times, overwhelming desire to have and hold beauty is a good and holy desire. A desire given to you by God.

    is simply not consistent with the Bible.

    The at times overwhelming desire to have and hold beauty that is not ours is just strong lust and covetousness which is not related to the God — God and sin do not go together and the desire for God does not lead one to sin;

    1 John 2:15
    Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

    16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

    The lust for a woman or man for that matter is not worship of God misdirected – one does not feel a draw for a picture of Grace Kelly out of goodness but out of our fallen state as our heart is deceptively wicked– worship of God is submissive and comes from the Holy Spirit working to change the unsubmissive flesh that only wants to pleasure itself through things like lusting for women in coffee shops.

    They may have things in common, like seeking approval and significance outside oneself but they are simply not the same. Yes, women are beautiful and man does not have to ignore this fact but to call what is essentially lust a cry of our heart puts a pretty face on a sin problem. Worship denies these desires and seeks only Jesus it does not redirect them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Thomas, I appreciate your honest feedback. I just want to say it’s absolutely OK that we don’t all agree on every aspect of our interpretation of Scripture, just as long as the basis is Jesus Christ, the cross and resurrection, and the testing of spirits. I would like to respond to your comment on my quote of “the innate strength, passuon, desire…” part. My statement wasn’t based on lust, but desire. To clear up what I meant I think is best illustrated in the koine Greek word ‘ ἐπιθυμία’ which is used in James 1:14-15 when James talks about desire and sin, it’s translated as desire. However that word is not necessarily evil by nature, as Jesus used it to say he has desired to eat the last supper. So I walk from, 1) we have innate desires, which are not always holy but represent brokenness in us, to 2) receiving wholeness through Jesus in the Spirit. Regardles God bless you and appreciate the feedback!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi Joel – thanks for the reply and bless you as well. Yes, as long as we are following Christ, He will clear up in His timing in one or both of us any disagreement on the Scriptures — they are His after all.

        But just a quick response, looking at the King James and Strongs, the word that you have as desires is translated as lust in the KJV and is defined as a longing or lust( especially after what is forbidden). While it is good and worshipful to appreciate the beauty of women in a way similar to one appreciating God’s creation, a sunrise for example, once you add in a longing as you describe in any of your examples you go from appreciating to longing/lust. If that person is not your husband/wife than it is also coveting, wanting something that is not yours, and lust — of the eyes and of the flesh.

        Longing is normal because we are fallen creation, the war of the flesh and the spirit is still ongoing, but there is nothing holy about it.

        An example is David in 2 Samuel 11:

        2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.

        3 And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?

        4 And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house.

        David’s sin is already baked in the cake when he has desired the woman who is not his wife as he walked on the rooftop — I don’t think you can say that David is misapplying his worship of God here — when he carries out his plan it just adds to the adultery that is already in his heart.


  3. I want to love God so desperately. I do out of gratitude for His sacrifice but my addiction to sin gets in the way of loving Him completely. Thanks for inspiring me to pursue God more passionately. Getting to the friend stage with women is tricky yet alone convincing her marrying me wouldn’t be the biggest mistake of her life. For all those who have someone to love don’t doze on your beauty or some other hubby will. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: The Pursuit – Guest post by Joel – Francisca Flaherty

  5. Pingback: The Pursuit – Guest post by Joel – My Portion Forever

  6. Pingback: Lovely Blog Award – Wrestling with Faith – Dancing with Jesus

  7. Pingback: Award Ceremony & My Faves – inthedesertwithjesus

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s