Go- No- or – No go!

james_dean.jpgLife in the fast lane… ehh…

My love life was pretty casual, but for the most part it never went beyond flirting. Honestly. It was the early 1990’s and I lived my life mainly during the weekends.
I loved the night life: Dancing and loud music, being out all night until 5 or 6 am, dancing on the loudspeakers, flirting my way around like a careless drifter… I never stopped and thought about what I was doing or the dangers involved. I truly lived in the “here and now – ala James Dean” moment. Looking back I seriously wonder how I managed to make it through the weeks in between!

The bar served My favorite drink coke & whisky! Deliciously sweet and sharp and definitely made me care a lot less about – well, just about anything.

passion_love_kiss_lips_8019_1920x1200.jpgOn a few occasions, I would take a flirtatious guy up on “his offer” and end up in a bed not my own. Most guys were kind… but if you choose to venture out there – in the “field of passion” – you need to know the risks.
–  Fixing myself a coke & whisky to share one night which still stands chiseled in my mind:

I had been dancing and drinking since arriving at the nightclub, e.g. at least a couple of hours. Mr. X and I were socializing in the same circles. We kind of knew each other though we hadn’t flirted before that night and I’m wondering if it really was flirting as – well, looking back, Mr. X was by no means a guy with a look I would normally fall for.

We got to his place and I admit that after that, I remember only bits and pieces… I remember his bedroom, the smell of soap, his eyes looking at me with some empty unexplainable look and his hand between my legs. Creepy…
I remember no kissing or foreplay. And then I remember the pain as he tried to penetrate several times and each time with a harder push – and then my mind goes totally blank.

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I woke up slightly disoriented. I can’t remember if Mr. X was in bed, but I got up and saw a whole lot of blood stains on the white bedsheets and a line of dried blood down both my thighs and blood on my hips and body. And it was not that time of the month!
I washed myself and got dressed and left.

I was 17 at the time and my actions was 10 kinds of stupid. A futile attempt to fill a void in my heart. A place where love should be thriving, but was utterly empty.

Saying yes the first time, makes it easier to say yes the second time and third time and after that, it becomes “normal”.

a-segment-on-scars-10-638.jpg But the bottom line is as usual; It was my choice.
I could have chosen not to go home with the guy.
It does not justify his actions, but young girls and guys;
God gave us rules to protect us, not to restrain us. 
The Lord taught me a valuable lesson that night – in retrospect of course as back then I had no Almighty Lord to pray to. Humans procreate no more different than animals; Instincts given to us at creation takes over the brain function if the passion is allowed to go on too long and there is no self-control.
If one says “go” but the other says “no” – One person will get hurt and the Living Lord gets hurt through it.

Nobody knows me like God does and even 10 kinds of stupid can be forgiven. My wounds beneath has been healed, but I’m left with the scars and memories of my actions. Mr. X is a face I would have chosen to erase from my memory bank if I could…

Just think twice!

Jesus white as snow olsen-forgiven.jpg

And with this I go before my Lord asking Him to take my message to those He wishes hears it, to guide those who need guidance, to heal those who need healing. Only by sharing the scars you have healed Lord, can I show someone that only you Lord Jesus can fill any void in a heart searching for love. I pray those You choose Lord, will allow you in. Amen.

 

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37 thoughts on “Go- No- or – No go!

  1. Your statement “God gave us rules to protect us, not to restrain us” is very good advice for young people who have a tendency to want to bend or break the rules; Often when we do that as young people we are the ones that are broken. Thanks for an excellent post.

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    1. Thank you Jim. All these things I’m sharing here happened before I met Jesus so I didn’t understand His rules. Today I’m thankful this was the worst thing that ever happened because I could have gotten hurt much worse at any point. Thank you for your encouragement. It means a lot to me.
      I’m hoping to find guest bloggers who can reach the young guys… Interested?

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  2. That’s a powerful testimony Lene! It sounds like God is definitely using you to help save others from choices that would be hurting God and themselves. And of course, we are made all new in Christ Jesus, thankfully! God bless!!

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    1. Thanks Joel. I appreciate the encouragement greatly!
      I really do hope this blog will reach those who need to know the risks of their choices in this area – guys included. How does a blog like this reach the unsaved guys..? Any tag suggestions? If you feel led to write a guest post for this blog, let me know.

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      1. Hey thanks Lene! Yeah that’d be really cool! Sure I’d be up for it!

        As far as reaching men, not sure….let me think about that one. Most of my followers on WP are women anyway (I write about kids, Jesus and coffeehouses, go figure). BUT, I do have a lot of male friends outside that I might be able to loop in via social media. And I do have male friends that I have ministered too over coffee, Friday nights, right before they went to the frat house and I went home to sleep. (Way before I got married). But I’d love to help out anyway possible!

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      2. Thanks! Hey – coffee and Jesus are thankfully my addictions 😍 so it sounds like it could work out perfectly fine. Would love to have your help. Lord bless you! Email me at lene272091 @ gmail.com with a guest post. No rush! Whenever you are ready 🤗

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      3. Haha! Coffee and Jesus are totally my addictions too 🙂 I used to sit around with my best friend at a coffee house and stay up until like 1am sitting out on the veranda drinking coffee and talking about Jesus and Scripture. Good times. So I have to ask…what brewing method do you use (drip, french press, aeropress, chemex) and what’s your favorite region of coffee (Ethiopia, Sulawesi, New Guinea, Kenya, etc…) ?

        Yes, I have some thoughts on a guest post with struggles I walked through before I got married as a younger man! I will write it up here in the next day or two and email you Lene! I look forward to getting to contribute!

        God bless you too!

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      4. Well – brewing methods… okay, I have two: the quick and the delicious. At 5 or 6 am I need the quick one for my “morning coffee’s with Jesus” and for that I use instant (I know, most coffee lovers go “eww”) and I gotta tell you I have become very picky with those: Starbucks VIA italian blend or Nestle’s taster’s choice french roast. If I have time, I use the espresso machine and dark roast java coffee from Indonesia.

        Thanks – I look forward to your sharing! I think a lot of guys out there could use you… take your time. There’s no rush!

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      5. My first reaction was “Ew!” 😉 But, you get points for going with Starbucks Via Italian Roast, because when I take my family on long road trips, we will travel through the desert late at night and there is no coffee available. So I bring along a packet of Via Italian blend and use that at like 3am.

        Espresso machine! Good choice. I got the Verismo from Starbucks last year and it makes a really good cup. Indoneisa is always a score!

        Thank you so much! That’s very kind of you! I’m gonna try to get it written up this evening…we’re about to have a baby in the next several days and I’m going to be tied up with my time soon! So earlier the better for me 🙂

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      6. Ha ha – you’re funny. Instant isn’t as bad anymore as it used to be… But it takes courage to venture to places people generally go “ew” with 😜. I have a DeLonghi machine and it makes a good cuppa!
        I see – congratulations on the imminent arrival of new baby. Yep, better get that post written sooner rather than later. Blessing to your family!

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      7. Hahaha! Ah, DeLonghi! Ok, I can see you like your coffee now 😉 that’s a good cuppa! I’m am aeropress guy. French press every now and then, but mostly aeropress.

        Thank you so much! We are very excited! I love my babies!!

        Aaaand, I got the post written tonight! 🙂 let me proof and reread it tomorrow morning, I need to get off here and hang out with my bride so I’m done for the evening, and then I’ll send it out.

        God bless!

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      8. It’s tough because this SUCH a big topic to write on and it’s impossible to unpack everything in one sitting. So I tried to hit on the essentials, the meat and potatoes of what is driving the evil activity our of males, and how we can see redemption as men in a deep intimate relationship with Jesus.

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      9. It is a rather huge subject and impossible to do in one post. It’s important to keep the focus, fairly short and readable and absolutely non-judgemental.
        Now, never neglect a pregnant lady so off you go. Proof read tomorrow or some other time between diaper changes and send it off. I know time is short but still, take your time. Blessings.

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      10. I’ll take a extra day to review…succinctness can be a trouble spot for me.

        True words you speak, “never neglect a pregnant lady.” And we’re still pregnant today. Which means I’m having an extra cup of coffee from the french press this morning 🙂

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      11. Ah… French press… Perhaps I should dust mine off and get it back in use!!
        How is your lady today?
        I totally get you: succinctness is s problem for me too. Usually my posts are 800 words until I edit them down and end up between 5-600 words. Any longer and you run the risk of loosing the reader. Shall I add photos or will you choose some and mail them with the post? Your call…

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      12. Oh definitely, I’d pull out the dust rag and start wiping that press down. And while I was at it, I’d go ahead and make a press of coffee. Because cleaner the coffee press is always a good excuse to make coffee haha!

        Well, she’s still pregnant tonight. We’re just waiting on God’s timing at this point. There’s been some signs it might he soon, but nothing big yet! But she’s 39 weeks! So literally any day now. Eeek, I’m so excited!!

        I’m sorry, i feel like I’m being a flake…I need another day. Tonight was date night (last one before we add on another kiddo!) and I just didn’t get the time to edit. Plus I need some time to skinny it down to 5-600 words.

        Can you plz do the pics? I think you have some good ones that get across to the audience well.

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      13. We are visiting disneysea today so I ain’t getting nothing done either. Please don’t excuse anything; take your time. I know things will be busy but once in a while you will need half hour of coffee and screen time in between diaper changes.

        So happy you’re so excited. The look on my husbands face when he first held our daughter and his heart just sank way deep into that little bundle was worth the entire labor and delivery. 😊 your wife will understand what I mean 😉

        If the post is 700 words it’s still okay… Don’t get hung up on it, but keep it focused on your main point of the post. Have the title reflect the ending so it all comes together.
        But, take your time and sure, I’ll do the pics.
        Thanks for doing this in the middle of everything else. Tell your wife I said thanks 🤗

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      14. Disney! We love Disney, but we go to Disneyland since we are in the States. Never been to Tokyo, but I’m sure if we ever do we’ll probably have to make a stop at Disney there. Have fun!

        This is going to be our 3rd baby. And I am very excited. And you are very right, my wife feels the same way. When you see that baby, your child, it’s just all worth it, right then and there. I can’t wait. God has told my wife though, she will be here in his timing, not ours. So we’re patiently waiting on his right time. Even though it’s not exactly comfortable at 39 weeks!

        Sounds good on the post. I’ve neglected my own blog too, just haven’t had any time to write the last day or two, plenty of time to do casual comments and back and forth, but not enough to just sit down and focus. God bless!

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      15. Post is received! Looks really good. I’ll read through it etc and post it with intro and link to your blog – and let people know that baby is expected any second… Thank you so much for helping me with a guest post. I’ll just pray it hits home with someone out there.
        Tokyo has Disneyland (Magic Kingdom) and DisneySea. Separate parks but right next to each other. If you do visit Tokyo, let me know 😉
        It was fantastic. I love walking around in this fantasy world Disney can create. DisneySea is also the ONLY place in Japan you can buy the Duffy bear! If you find Duffy outside of the park it triples in price. No kidding… and my girl and I have a little crush on Gelatoni.
        God Bless you with a smooth and quick birth, sooner than you think.

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      16. I emailed you back! The revisions look great! Thank you for letting me contribute! If you’d like, I’d love to have you guest write on my blog! If you’re interested, not sure if there’s a subject that you’d want to do, but I would LOVE to hear something about Japan and Jesus. I remember like 3 or 4 years ago I was praying for various countries in the world and God put Japan on my heart to pray for. And I did some research and it’s like one of the least “Christian” nations in the world, correct? I think it would extremely interesting to get your perspective on that! If you want too, no pressure of course! 😉

        I had never heard of Gelatoni! That’s funny. I remember Duffy now that you mention him from California Adventure! We took a picture with him and the whole time I was thinking, “Who is this bear?” lol, but then I looked him up afterward and realized it.

        And thank you about the birth. Nothing yet! It’s quiet over here. Hopefully soon and quick when it does happen, all in God’s plan! God bless you!!

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      17. Thank you – wow, thanks for asking. I’ll have to chew a bit on Japan & Jesus and get back to you. There’s a lot to write about but not sure how I can get that subject mixed in with kids and coffee… ha ha ha. I’d love to, just give me a bit of time.
        – yes, about 5% are genuine believers in Jesus. It’s about the same as Denmark! Go figure…
        Now, I’m off to add some pics to a certain post.

        Liked by 1 person

      18. OK sounds good! That’s a low percentage but sounds like there might be some good opportunities to love on them! Haha, no you don’t have to mix it in with kids and coffee, whatever you feel God putting on your heart would be perfect! Just let me know!!

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  3. I think I have a thought on the Japan & Jesus post… So I’ll be in touch on mail 😉
    Meanwhile, some commenters on my other blog seems to have some “chit-chat” going on, so I better head over there. I have been neglecting it for a while.
    Talk to you soon. Remain Blessed – and french “pressed” 😉 ha ha ha

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    1. Ah – yes. I’m from Denmark, born and bred, but married a Japanese guy and living in west Tokyo prefecture. Jump over to “Wrestling with faith – dancing with Jesus” if you want to know more details about me. It will get a little long on a comment section – ha ha. It’s morning here, so I’m headed for my 2nd cuppa 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh that’s that’s a cool story!! Sounds good, I’ll jump over and read it later (it’s about dinner time here and I’m gonna head out to play with my kiddos while my wife cooks up a storm!)

        The second cup is perfect for responding to comments. But wait, is that instant? Or did we dust off the press? 😉

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      2. You crack me up! In the lazy Japanese (indian) summer heat, no the french press is still in the cupboard and yes it’s a cuppa from the espresso this time. First one wasn’t…. but it was french roast taster’s choice. I really like that one, but it seems to be out of production. Can’t import it anymore and they don’t sell it here in Japan (they like the mild stuff).

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      3. Haha! Espresso, always a good brew! Alright, I’ll stop picking on you for your coffee choices! 😉

        So I had a good friend that was supposed to come into town from out of state this week, but for logistical reasons he had to cancel. I had also purchased a bag of Starbucks Reserve Brazil for us to open and brew first time together. But since he cancelled, I know what I’m pressing in the morning!

        I’ve never had taster’s choice french roast. I gotta have the strong stuff. My wife loathes coffee and my mom drinks it super weak, like with cream (lots of it) so my family thinks I drink motor oil for coffee because I brew mine strong lol!

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