Somewhere around 16

As naive as I was at age 16, tumblr_ktfjxl20iW1qa3yd4o1_500.jpgI was fully aware of my own body and – guys? They were… well… interesting. At 16 I was a little “behind” my friends who had already gone straight for the prize of loosing their virginity. It was popular at the time to “know what you were doing” and yet Madonna was still singing “like a virgin” (despite at the time it being 5 years old). The mind of a teen girl is plenty messed up without adding boys and music into the mix, but that’s the reality of the world. It was 1989.

I honestly do not know what I expected when my virginity were at the brink of gone. Before, during nor after.


But I can say for sure that “food-sex” never crossed my mind!

I had been partying at the harbour festival and met this mr. nice guy. Yes, he was actually a really nice guy… to look at. Spoiled rotten high class guy with irresistible charm.

images.jpegI remember pondering which way to go when he asked me to come over the following week… You gotta remember here, I had no Lord to hold dear at that point. I was accountable only to myself (parents?… I don’t think I ever intended to tell them anything). I made a most curious yet crucial decision that week – I was going to go, experience “the first time” and never see the guy again. That way, I didn’t have to care at all and quite frankly, he was exactly the type of guy for that type of casual relationship.

After talking in the kitchen for a bit he started to tell me about his ex-girlfriend (… today I wonder why I allowed him anywhere near my body! – his ex-girlfriend?? really??) ChocolateSpa1.jpgand how they used to have food sex. Smear each other in all sorts of delicacies and well… you get the idea! –
I said no way… but an hour later I was no longer an innocent virgin.

I have heard gruesome stories of how horrible and painful the first time can be. I have no doubt that it is possible… but for me there was no pain and I felt no loss. My body responded and it was actually really nice and he was a very gentle and kind guy. I walked out of his home and never looked back.

Should I have done what I did? No’b.
Why was it such a crucial decision? Because that was the moment I decided not to care.
But the fact remains that it was my choice;
I lost my virginity that day because I wanted to…

I didn’t know any better and with that I began a journey with the desires of the flesh. c6c596d48199df7c1b4a463867edaa18.jpg

I never saw the guy again, didn’t want to, I didn’t love him and I hadn’t fallen in love with him. I had no emotional attachment at all.
In today’s world I believe it’s known as casual sex.



dontknow-blog.pngSex outside of marriage is a sin against the Lord! But I did not understand that I was accountable… I was 16. Had never gone to church. Had parents who said “if you’re gonna do it, do it safely – make sure he wears a condom”.

Had I heard that sex before marriage is a sin? Of course… “But God did not exist so who cared”… Well, years later I discovered that Jesus did – He cared!

Jesus-Cares-for-you.jpegBut at the time I had no idea how badly I hurt Him. Or how bad my reputation would get as I got on that journey of the flesh. Do I regret things today? well, yes… but I can’t go back in time and change anything. And everything I went through made me who I am today and God is using this – to reach you. I pray He does.

As for the food sex… then that lingered in my mind for a long time. Food-sex-584831.jpg

Warning: Unless you have an open mind, do not read on… but if you can handle it, here goes: If you need a little something to spice up your marital life, then chili, chocolate and honey are recommendable. The whip cream you see in the movies? Melts too fast… and cover your bed-sheets with an old towel!! It’s fun, but it’s not like the movies!



22 thoughts on “Somewhere around 16

  1. Pingback: First post up on Song of Virginity – Wrestling with Faith – Dancing with Jesus

  2. Damaris Seijo

    Thank you for sharing your story! I think a lot of teens need to hear that it is NOT like “in the movies” and that there is a God who cares and encourages them to wait on him! God bless you!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. rebornicity

    So what happens is that losing virginity is a little event relating to God going in between the flesh of some sacrifice while Abraham was stupefied in the Spirit. It isn’t just losing virginity, it is gaining a blood covenant with a guy you never may see again. But the clueless, deluded, lazy parents, teachers and faith leaders of today don’t come to the party in the lives of their teens. Don’t tell them that a spiritual bond and a secret yearningmay remain for life as the Bible correctly teaches that two sleeping together, become one. Just as we become one with our Lord and are in a bond with Him. Sex is not just a deed. It is a quite agreeable little concert with a deeply spiritual meaning.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate your comment. I agree that the church – as a people and family – could do far more for the tweens, teens and singles in terms of guidance in this matter. But too many people are too embarrassed or held back to be able to talk about it. Once the passion/lust has been awakened it gets real hard to say no the 2nd time, which is why the “first yes” is so crucial. Thanks for helping getting the message out there.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rebornicity

        It is so easy to talk about war, violence, gays, hating some other religions, so easy to watch soft porn with the family on TV, talking about sex should be easy. It is for me.


    1. Thanks Jim! I really want to reach the guys too, but not sure how to… though having said that, there are as many guys following this blog as girls.
      What tags on a blog post would guys follow?? maybe that can help attract some. Bless you. ❤


      1. I think most of the tags you have on this post would work except they need to be more specific. and refer to boys. For example: premarital sex for boys or sex and boys’ responsibiiitiies


  4. Bravo! Great Post. If I might add something… while it is appropriate to your post and intended readership The phrase “began a journey with the desires of the flesh” applies equally but more broadly to every single one of us – no matter how ‘Chaste’.

    We all grow up from even before we are born experiencing and knowing only the physical as ‘real’; the world of flesh (and sin): mortality, that ends in our death. It is now my journey to understand this fully and learn how to walk, live only by accepting within His Spirit, which is to say, Love, and to make every attempt to fail to follow the way of flesh and bone. To be in the world but not of it.



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